I’m Moving!

I’m moving my blog to the Blogger platform.

I’ve loved WordPress, but I want to be a part of the BlogHer network … and they don’t allow WordPress Blogs.  (And I must say, the WordPress platform is much easier to use, but BlogHer hates WP … go figure.)

This site will continue to live on.

Everything has been moved to my blogger site (except comments … ) which is why I am keeping this site live.  I want to be able to come back and be comforted by everything you’ve said here from time to time.

So, without further adieu … http://misadventures-in-fertility.blogspot.com/

I’ll see you over there.  me.

Facebook Hates Infertiles

Facebook crapped on me today.

So, I was having a pretty good day today.  My emotions were staying in check and even though our company announced some crazy news today (my job is safe) I’m relatively low key.

Until I checked FB.

Stupid me.  I know better.

FB kicks me, when I’m down, and yet I still check it.

Today the TOP NEWS item for me was the lovely post and photo below.

GAG ME WITH A FORKLIFT!!!

 

Itsy, bitsy K—- baby,
We’re thinking of you a lot lately!
Are you a boy,
Who will play with Tonka toys?
Or are you a girl,
With a hair full of curl?
We can’t wait to know,
The suspense continues to grow!
Momma thinks you’re a girl,
Daddy doesn’t know for sure.
The family can’t wait to know!
And friends love that you’re starting to show!
Now it’s down to about 30 hours,
Before we begin to think in specific colors…
Will we decorate in blue or pink?
My mind bursts when I try to think!
Tomorrow we meet you on the screen,
We’re so excited we could scream!

Everyone put in your guess!
Do you think it’s a boy or a girl?
We’ll reveal the results tomorrow night!
Check in then to see which balloon is left floating!

Seriously??

FB now not only bombards me with pregnancy announcements, ultrasound photos, belly pics, labor announcements, fake pregnancy announcements … and now guessing the gender?!  Really?!?!

I know that this is bothering me because I’ve just crossed into the two-week-wait.  I’m in TWW Purgatory.

Oh … one more thing … FB just crashed my internet.

Just thought I’d let you know another way FB craps on infertiles.  Great.

Until next time.  me.

Tags: Facebook, infertility, Pregnancy, ttc

Cycle Status Update

Ok, so I’ve had two visits with the d.ildocam since Saturday.

Saturday AM – CD 12 visit.
Lining: 7b! (YAY!)
Follicles: one 16 (right), one 16 (left) and a bunch of smalls
Directions: come back for another u/s the next day.

Sunday AM:
Lining: 9B (WAH-HOO!)
Follicles: one 19 (right), one 19 (left) a bunch of smalls.
Directions – ovidrel trigger shot on Monday night, with timed BD schedule (Monday night or Tuesday morning AND Wednesday morning).

And then … the two week wait begins. Fun times.

Tom came with me for both ultrasounds this weekend, which was good. I got super emotional during both of them. On Saturday, I at least held it together until we were leaving, but Sunday I was in tears during the date with Mr. D.ildocam. I just laid there with my eyes closed. Normally I love looking at the screen to see what they see. But not yesterday.

In other news, I’m completely caught up with Grey’s Anatomy. I’m super late the game with that one — this past spring I watched the first six seasons on Netflix streaming (thank g.d it was available on streaming — Tom HATES Grey’s Anatomy, so I’d be SOL trying to use our mail-in disc for that!) Anyways, this week season 8 starts, and I was a little worried about not getting caught up on season 7. But Netflix streaming has season 7! So over the course of 4 days I watched the entire season. It’s a sickness, I know. (Tom was golfing on Saturday afternoon, and I was an emotional mess … so knitting and watching episode after episode of Grey’s Anatomy was in order.)

I would like to comment that it’s nice to see a television show where they explore some of the feelings of infertility.  Meredith & McDreamy experience issues with fertility and the loss from a miscarriage; the show doesn’t delve too deeply into their problems, but several times you hear Meredith voice some of the same thoughts and worries that I have.   I’m sure they mimic some of yours as well.

I hope you all had a nice weekend.

Until next time. me.

Tags: hope, infertility, miscarriage, ttc, TWW

Getting closer …

Well, my mid-cycle ultrasound is creeping up. It’s on Saturday. That will be CD 12.

Today is CD 9. My last day of the femera. I’ve been pleased with the lack of side effects — it is definitely better in that regard than Clomid. I haven’t had the crazy mood swings and really other than last night having some wicked hot flashes I’ve been doing OK on the new drug.

Hopefully my ovaries are responding. We’ll know in a few days.

One of the hardest parts about this cycle is that I keep thinking about the miscarriage and pregnancy. I keep torturing myself by thinking, hmm, I would have been almost 14 weeks right now.

Of course thinking about that leads me to thinking about how much my baby should have been growing, instead of just being that blighted ovum. At 14 weeks baby would have been about the size of a lemon and would have been able to of all things frown, grimace and pee.

When I think about those things it makes me sad, mad, frustrated, bitter, and so many other emotions. I’m trying to not think about what could have been, but I think anyone who has had a miscarriage understands that feeling. I hope. Otherwise I’m crazy.

Through all of this, I have to keep pushing through the crud of budget season. Blah.  I found this “Stress Reduction Kit” online and I think it’s really funny.  I might have to hang it up in my office.

 

Until next time. me.

Tags: clomid, Femera, infertility, Infertility Treatments, Loss, miscarriage, Pregnancy, ttc, Ultrasound

Status Update … CD4

Today was my baseline ultrasound.  A date with the di.ldo cam.  Fun times.

It was difficult being back in Dr. Soup’s office.

I haven’t been there since he diagnosed the blighted ovum on July 22nd.

I did really good though – I didn’t cry until after the nurse and ultrasound tech left. When I was alone in the room.

I’m all set with my prescription. Dr. Soup switched me from Clomid to Femara. I’ll be starting 5 mg doses tomorrow (CD5).

Has anyone used Femara before?? What were the side effects like? All I can find online is the everything-but-the-kitchen-sink list that practically every side effect list includes. Not helpful.

Mid-cycle ultrasound is scheduled for a week from tomorrow. Tom will be there with me for that one.

I’m scared.

I have two big fears right now; and I know their both slightly irrational and rooted in the lingering grief over the miscarriage. They are, one, that we won’t get pregnant again, and two, that when/if we do we’ll have another miscarriage.

I know everything will be ok. Somehow, someway, someday we’ll be parents. It just sucks right now.

Sunday I would have been 14 weeks. It still hurts. But I’m moving forward.

Until next time. me.

Tags: blighted ovum, clomid, Femara, fertility, fertility treatments, hope, infertility, life, Loss, miscarriage, Pregnancy, ttc, Ultrasound